Here is the piece on Kaliya Mardanam referred to in Paddayana 5 in an audio visual form created by Akshi. This as well as other mantras recited by Ajoba on 21st November 1993 was provided by Sekar mama. All the mantras in the entire cassette are also available as audio MP3 in the DVD form.
Vasu kaka has helped us in digitised audio grabbing from cassette and later in audio visual form through MovieMaker.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
PILGRIMAGE TO DELHI
Delhi-the beautiful capital city of India-he had heard so much about it ! Delhi-the throbbing pulse of this great nation and the center of all political decisions ; the ultimate destination of artistes who have made it big in India!.......how much he loved to hear about it….
Being the youngest of a family of six, it had always been his place to hear all the accounts of his older brothers’ and sisters’. It was forever his lot to be at the receiving end of all their karate lessons as well as being the audience for his elder brothers’ and sisters’ recitation of their math tables or Sanskrit slokas……….To be precise ,the difference in age between Madhu and his brother was a cool twenty years. So he was hardly out of his cradle when his dada joined his first posting as a brilliant and promising young officer in New Delhi’s prestigious National Physical Laboratory. Vaguely he remembered excited discussions at home-a gold medal-and how his dada had been offered a scholarship to pursue research with Sir C.V.Raman; but eventually opted out, as times were hard, and a job was an absolute necessity.
New Delhi loomed up again as he grew up. Every now and then, his summer vacations and the weddings of all the older siblings would be punctuated with glowing descriptions of that city-a city hoary with age and splendor his dada used to describe the city minutely, and his impressionable young mind formed precise pictures of each spot, abetted with the occasional photographs of Delhi. It was rich with historical places and picturesque monument “as beautiful as ROME” they said .The descriptions of wide-lined avenues, green parks and vibrant –hued roundabouts fired his imagination and whetted with his fascination for the city.
Today, at the age of forty, standing at the New Delhi Railway station, there was thrill in his veins. His eyes glowed with anticipation. It seemed to him like a dream…….he had seen it all min his imagination a hundred times before! But here he was on a single day’s trip to Delhi, en route to another place. He had just enough time to make his “pilgrimage”. That evening, as Dada’s daughter, his niece, saw him off in the train, she asked him the question she asked to most of the visitors to Delhi-“Kaka, of all places you visited today, which did you like the most?” And he replied’ you know, I really only wanted to see 18A/1,W.E.A,- the house where Dada spent so many years. Actually, to visit that was the only reason for my pilgrimage to Delhi. Strange, you know, but it’s true.”
PUTTA
Being the youngest of a family of six, it had always been his place to hear all the accounts of his older brothers’ and sisters’. It was forever his lot to be at the receiving end of all their karate lessons as well as being the audience for his elder brothers’ and sisters’ recitation of their math tables or Sanskrit slokas……….To be precise ,the difference in age between Madhu and his brother was a cool twenty years. So he was hardly out of his cradle when his dada joined his first posting as a brilliant and promising young officer in New Delhi’s prestigious National Physical Laboratory. Vaguely he remembered excited discussions at home-a gold medal-and how his dada had been offered a scholarship to pursue research with Sir C.V.Raman; but eventually opted out, as times were hard, and a job was an absolute necessity.
New Delhi loomed up again as he grew up. Every now and then, his summer vacations and the weddings of all the older siblings would be punctuated with glowing descriptions of that city-a city hoary with age and splendor his dada used to describe the city minutely, and his impressionable young mind formed precise pictures of each spot, abetted with the occasional photographs of Delhi. It was rich with historical places and picturesque monument “as beautiful as ROME” they said .The descriptions of wide-lined avenues, green parks and vibrant –hued roundabouts fired his imagination and whetted with his fascination for the city.
Today, at the age of forty, standing at the New Delhi Railway station, there was thrill in his veins. His eyes glowed with anticipation. It seemed to him like a dream…….he had seen it all min his imagination a hundred times before! But here he was on a single day’s trip to Delhi, en route to another place. He had just enough time to make his “pilgrimage”. That evening, as Dada’s daughter, his niece, saw him off in the train, she asked him the question she asked to most of the visitors to Delhi-“Kaka, of all places you visited today, which did you like the most?” And he replied’ you know, I really only wanted to see 18A/1,W.E.A,- the house where Dada spent so many years. Actually, to visit that was the only reason for my pilgrimage to Delhi. Strange, you know, but it’s true.”
PUTTA
Romantic Diplomacy
Traditions die hard, particularly in our country. We are rather anxious that our children get married within the same community. An Iyer must marry an Iyer and an Agarwal, an Agarwal. Though marriages are made in heaven, they are fixed on earth by parents. While people in the west wonder how anyone can marry a total stranger, we are critical of love marriages.
Our daughter went to the U.S. for higher studies. There she met a boy who is an Indian from a different state and of a different caste. As romance has no barriers they fell in love and wanted to get married. Though the parents of the boy were well to do, they belonged to a slightly lower sub caste but were nevertheless very orthodox and conservative in their own rights. Above all they liked our daughter and wanted her to be their son’s wife.
My husband jumped at the offer. Assuming he could eventually convince me too with his sensible argument and characteristic wit, our other relations in the family, the so called kith and kin, were not for it. They contended that under no circumstance should we accept a boy of different community as our son in law in the family! He had to be a Madhwa desastha preferably of Kumbakonam or Udupi origin, and that was final.
My daughter suggested we meet the young man and his parents, and then decide. Even though we knew the exercise would be futile, in order to buy peace temporarily agreed to meet them. We found the young man, who was from a very good family, very intelligent, handsome, and possessing all the qualities we would wish for in our daughter. Yet our answer was a firm ‘no’. How we wished he had been our own community!
After a few days we received a letter from our daughter saying she would not like to go against our wishes and that with a very heavy heart she had called it off. She added that she would not like to go against our wishes and that she had called it off. She added that she would wait for a boy of our choice for her. We heaved a sigh of relief and settled down to our routine.
Nothing happened for some time. Then all of a sudden one day we got a call from a close friend of our daughter. She rang up saying that our daughter of late was seeing an Ethiopian Black Muslim and was seriously thinking of getting engaged to him.
The blow struck home. We stopped all our activities and called emergency meeting of the family. There was a commotion. Our elders who had so vehemently opposed the earlier proposal decided to send me and my husband immediately to the parents of the Indian boy. Without waiting for the priests’ clearance or the auspicious dates the marriage was fixed within a week. We asked our daughter and the boy to rush to India for the wedding pronto, even if they had to travel by Air in First Class.
After the ceremonies were over, before leaving on their honeymoon, my daughter winked amidst laughter and merriment that the Black Ethiopian Muslim was nothing but a dry fib!
PUTTA
Our daughter went to the U.S. for higher studies. There she met a boy who is an Indian from a different state and of a different caste. As romance has no barriers they fell in love and wanted to get married. Though the parents of the boy were well to do, they belonged to a slightly lower sub caste but were nevertheless very orthodox and conservative in their own rights. Above all they liked our daughter and wanted her to be their son’s wife.
My husband jumped at the offer. Assuming he could eventually convince me too with his sensible argument and characteristic wit, our other relations in the family, the so called kith and kin, were not for it. They contended that under no circumstance should we accept a boy of different community as our son in law in the family! He had to be a Madhwa desastha preferably of Kumbakonam or Udupi origin, and that was final.
My daughter suggested we meet the young man and his parents, and then decide. Even though we knew the exercise would be futile, in order to buy peace temporarily agreed to meet them. We found the young man, who was from a very good family, very intelligent, handsome, and possessing all the qualities we would wish for in our daughter. Yet our answer was a firm ‘no’. How we wished he had been our own community!
After a few days we received a letter from our daughter saying she would not like to go against our wishes and that with a very heavy heart she had called it off. She added that she would not like to go against our wishes and that she had called it off. She added that she would wait for a boy of our choice for her. We heaved a sigh of relief and settled down to our routine.
Nothing happened for some time. Then all of a sudden one day we got a call from a close friend of our daughter. She rang up saying that our daughter of late was seeing an Ethiopian Black Muslim and was seriously thinking of getting engaged to him.
The blow struck home. We stopped all our activities and called emergency meeting of the family. There was a commotion. Our elders who had so vehemently opposed the earlier proposal decided to send me and my husband immediately to the parents of the Indian boy. Without waiting for the priests’ clearance or the auspicious dates the marriage was fixed within a week. We asked our daughter and the boy to rush to India for the wedding pronto, even if they had to travel by Air in First Class.
After the ceremonies were over, before leaving on their honeymoon, my daughter winked amidst laughter and merriment that the Black Ethiopian Muslim was nothing but a dry fib!
PUTTA
Thursday, May 15, 2008
PADDA'S REPLY IN 0CT 2006.
For those who missed it earlier, here is the reply from Padda to Govind.
Dear Govind,
Thanks for your e-mail of 9th Oct 2006 eulogizing me in most etravagent terms on my 76th birthday. Epitaphs/biographies are usually written after a great person exists no more. But you are an exceptional biographer who has chosen to write of me in such endearing and superlative terms, exaggerating such virtues as I possessed, when I am still alive and kicking, if not fishing in Florida! Bosewell who wrote the "LIFE OF JOHNSON" was a bigger literary figure in English than Johnson himself. So it is with you today Govind, and I am all admiration for you. I hope in the distant future another writer will emerge from the YASAKA clan who will praise you too in no smaller measure. With best wishes and kindest regards, yours affectionately, --- Padda Kaka
Dear Govind,
Thanks for your e-mail of 9th Oct 2006 eulogizing me in most etravagent terms on my 76th birthday. Epitaphs/biographies are usually written after a great person exists no more. But you are an exceptional biographer who has chosen to write of me in such endearing and superlative terms, exaggerating such virtues as I possessed, when I am still alive and kicking, if not fishing in Florida! Bosewell who wrote the "LIFE OF JOHNSON" was a bigger literary figure in English than Johnson himself. So it is with you today Govind, and I am all admiration for you. I hope in the distant future another writer will emerge from the YASAKA clan who will praise you too in no smaller measure. With best wishes and kindest regards, yours affectionately, --- Padda Kaka
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
HIS FRIEND SHANKARA NARAYANAN
During his college days in B Sc (Honours) in 1948, he had a close friend by name Shankara Narayanan who was in Clive's Hostel while Padda was a day scholar from Vanniyadi Street in Malaikkottai, Trichy. If we belonged to lower middle class family, he was perhaps lower than that. One day when Padda visited him in his hostel room, he found a pile of banana peels dumped in a corner of the room. Soon it was found out that the boy had not paid his hostel fees and hence was not permitted to dine there. So he was on a diet of bananas with peels thrown around. Without a hesitation he was brought to our home where we shared a meal with him and he stayed with us for a week or so till his maternal uncle could come to visit him in Clive's hostel and found out that he was living out with us. When he came to us and asked Shankara Narayanan why he has not locked the hostel room, pat came the reply from the boy "what was there to loose?" ஆமாம் அங்கே என்ன இருக்கு?- a poignant way he reminded his uncle of the delay in his remittance to him and the non-payment of hostel dues, which we all used to repeat later in life talking about protecting frivolous things. This chance meeting between Sudhama and Krishna bonded them till their exam. and even beyond later in life.
Friday, May 9, 2008
It is a month since I lost one of the most important person in my life....
I am angry with myself and all....
Why was I not told that he was not 'for ever'?
Why did I not tell him how much he meant to me?
Bapa, who would plan in so much detail...why did he leave us without a simple"bye"?
Was there a last few words of wisdom he wanted to convey to me when I had called last at 5 30 pm on April 7th?
The past month has been a sort of realisation to me.It has made me aware that I too have "grown up".Being the youngest I was sort of cushioned from the harsh facts of life.But now,with the protective umbrella of Bapa out of the picture,I have to fend for myself and my decisions...scary.
What I liked best about the past month was how well Sekar /Pam and Sunder/ Nan have held fort. Pramila vahini stepped in quietly and helped Amma with simple acts which Bapa used to do for Amma(hanging the clothes to dry etc.)Nandita vahini hugged Amma during one of her solitary inconsolate moods. Sekar taking the patience to repeat to her the nth time,how that fateful day went by(minute by minute).Sunder helped her reconcile to her sorrow by talking it
out with him.
These moments are etched in my memory .Whom do I tell this?How do I tell this to Bapa?Can this message go to him and pacify him that his better half is in safe hands?
Thoughts race as I try to harness them.Maybe they are incoherent,but I presume I am given that liberty as my mental frame of mind is yet to stablise after this life altering incident.
Prabha
I am angry with myself and all....
Why was I not told that he was not 'for ever'?
Why did I not tell him how much he meant to me?
Bapa, who would plan in so much detail...why did he leave us without a simple"bye"?
Was there a last few words of wisdom he wanted to convey to me when I had called last at 5 30 pm on April 7th?
The past month has been a sort of realisation to me.It has made me aware that I too have "grown up".Being the youngest I was sort of cushioned from the harsh facts of life.But now,with the protective umbrella of Bapa out of the picture,I have to fend for myself and my decisions...scary.
What I liked best about the past month was how well Sekar /Pam and Sunder/ Nan have held fort. Pramila vahini stepped in quietly and helped Amma with simple acts which Bapa used to do for Amma(hanging the clothes to dry etc.)Nandita vahini hugged Amma during one of her solitary inconsolate moods. Sekar taking the patience to repeat to her the nth time,how that fateful day went by(minute by minute).Sunder helped her reconcile to her sorrow by talking it
out with him.
These moments are etched in my memory .Whom do I tell this?How do I tell this to Bapa?Can this message go to him and pacify him that his better half is in safe hands?
Thoughts race as I try to harness them.Maybe they are incoherent,but I presume I am given that liberty as my mental frame of mind is yet to stablise after this life altering incident.
Prabha
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Mail to Madhwas group on Oct 9, 2006
Dear Kaka,
I wanted to take a moment and let you know that you have been a source of inspiration to our entire family, especially the younger ones who look up to you as the first example of someone who was brilliant academically. You occupy the pride of place as thefirst mover, although several have followed in your footsteps and have excelled in their own ways. In evolution, that first step is extremely significant as the following generations inherit from the genes as well as get inspired hearing stories of you studying under kerosene lamp and tamil medium which are part of the folklore.
When I used to study sitting on top of a pile of bedding at 4 a.m. during childhood, Aji (your mom)used to remark that I looked like Padda Kaka in posture while studying. Even that remark, as prosaic as it may be, was a source of pride to a young boy anxious to make a mark when grown up. That reference point which you created, that bar which you set so high, being presidency first and everything else that followed remains, in my mind, one of the strong reasons for the entire yasaka clan to have progressed so well as of today. As you turn 76, I bow my head in reverence to who you are and what you have been to all us. Thank you. BTW - how do you still remember those several laws of Physics and all the names of train stations?! Love for knowledge personified, it seems. I can only guess:-)
Regards,
Govind
I wanted to take a moment and let you know that you have been a source of inspiration to our entire family, especially the younger ones who look up to you as the first example of someone who was brilliant academically. You occupy the pride of place as thefirst mover, although several have followed in your footsteps and have excelled in their own ways. In evolution, that first step is extremely significant as the following generations inherit from the genes as well as get inspired hearing stories of you studying under kerosene lamp and tamil medium which are part of the folklore.
When I used to study sitting on top of a pile of bedding at 4 a.m. during childhood, Aji (your mom)used to remark that I looked like Padda Kaka in posture while studying. Even that remark, as prosaic as it may be, was a source of pride to a young boy anxious to make a mark when grown up. That reference point which you created, that bar which you set so high, being presidency first and everything else that followed remains, in my mind, one of the strong reasons for the entire yasaka clan to have progressed so well as of today. As you turn 76, I bow my head in reverence to who you are and what you have been to all us. Thank you. BTW - how do you still remember those several laws of Physics and all the names of train stations?! Love for knowledge personified, it seems. I can only guess:-)
Regards,
Govind
Puru to ‘Madhwas group’ on Padda's 76th Birthday
The following mail was written by Puru to ‘Madhwas group’ after a couple of days following Padda’s Birthday on 11th October 2006
Dear G
There were many occasions before you to write to Padda. You could have written a personal mail, you could have spoken to him or time and occasion permitting you could have even visited him and paid your respects in private. Instead you chose to air the approbation in public. But then why in public? The only reason I could see is to offer a trigger for many to join the applause thus making a widely held personal view point, an expression of just public opinion and through it express solidarity of the group as a whole and love and respect to one of the great living sons of Madhwas. I see your mail as a positive and better late than never kind of note to this man who deserves nothing but respect, praise and love from all of us.
Our privately held public opinions about this man are well known to everyone by now. A simple explanation to the question as to why did he generate such intense and passionate opinions about him during his princely reign in the past, lies in the fact that none of us were equal to take him on. He was like a colossus astriding the old and the new world, an intellectual of his times, a great revolutionary whose life and thoughts were shaped by the great thinkers of English society therefore held in awe by all of us. A great product of his times, Anna loved him so much that he was always and almost treated with the love that the eldest in the family unduly garner in the Indian society. I have never seen Anna in happier circumstances than in his company discussing weighty matters of life. Lying down side by side, the discussion would run deeper into the long mysterious hours of night.
In a way, he triggered us to go out and find means to equal his length and breadth of his knowledge and wisdom. He brooked no fools. He made us scurry like a pack of rats in front of a fierce and hungry looking cat. To get a praise from him was like getting an accolade from the Nobel committee. Personally I read many of the Shakespearean works, Smith and Percival Spear’s Indian History (especially the passage summarizing the reasons for the downfall of Moghul Empire – I could even today challenge him for word by word reproduction) and many such great works of History and literature just to seek his approving nod.
Therein lies the beauty of such challenges. The knowledge only breeds love and leads us to see that the only meaningful act in our existence could be to love individuals, nay the entire humanity for what they are and what it is. What began as a challenge only ended up as love. I don’t know whether he was aware of it but he was the reason for whatever little I know and enjoy to this day. In retrospect I feel I only loved him for what he was and is. In his looks and deeds he reflected a bit of another of my cherished idol of his contemporaneous world - Nehru (Kamala there is we know, any Lady Mountbatten in his life, curious to know!!) - and perhaps his love for English, lieterature,history and its historical figures with all their great deeds and eccentricities must have rubbed strongly on me too to love this endearing Dada! Doubtless he was the fountain head to all of our curious and little endeavors!
Even today, I have an intense desire in me to challenge this man. I want to obliterate his record and make his achievement look pedestrian. In doing that, perhaps I would have paid my respects to him. But how? By winning the Nobel Prize. But then I realize it is impossible in this birth therefore join the junta in respect to bow to this worthy son of Yasaka and wishing him many more happy returns of the day, however belated it may be!!
Dear G
There were many occasions before you to write to Padda. You could have written a personal mail, you could have spoken to him or time and occasion permitting you could have even visited him and paid your respects in private. Instead you chose to air the approbation in public. But then why in public? The only reason I could see is to offer a trigger for many to join the applause thus making a widely held personal view point, an expression of just public opinion and through it express solidarity of the group as a whole and love and respect to one of the great living sons of Madhwas. I see your mail as a positive and better late than never kind of note to this man who deserves nothing but respect, praise and love from all of us.
Our privately held public opinions about this man are well known to everyone by now. A simple explanation to the question as to why did he generate such intense and passionate opinions about him during his princely reign in the past, lies in the fact that none of us were equal to take him on. He was like a colossus astriding the old and the new world, an intellectual of his times, a great revolutionary whose life and thoughts were shaped by the great thinkers of English society therefore held in awe by all of us. A great product of his times, Anna loved him so much that he was always and almost treated with the love that the eldest in the family unduly garner in the Indian society. I have never seen Anna in happier circumstances than in his company discussing weighty matters of life. Lying down side by side, the discussion would run deeper into the long mysterious hours of night.
In a way, he triggered us to go out and find means to equal his length and breadth of his knowledge and wisdom. He brooked no fools. He made us scurry like a pack of rats in front of a fierce and hungry looking cat. To get a praise from him was like getting an accolade from the Nobel committee. Personally I read many of the Shakespearean works, Smith and Percival Spear’s Indian History (especially the passage summarizing the reasons for the downfall of Moghul Empire – I could even today challenge him for word by word reproduction) and many such great works of History and literature just to seek his approving nod.
Therein lies the beauty of such challenges. The knowledge only breeds love and leads us to see that the only meaningful act in our existence could be to love individuals, nay the entire humanity for what they are and what it is. What began as a challenge only ended up as love. I don’t know whether he was aware of it but he was the reason for whatever little I know and enjoy to this day. In retrospect I feel I only loved him for what he was and is. In his looks and deeds he reflected a bit of another of my cherished idol of his contemporaneous world - Nehru (Kamala there is we know, any Lady Mountbatten in his life, curious to know!!) - and perhaps his love for English, lieterature,history and its historical figures with all their great deeds and eccentricities must have rubbed strongly on me too to love this endearing Dada! Doubtless he was the fountain head to all of our curious and little endeavors!
Even today, I have an intense desire in me to challenge this man. I want to obliterate his record and make his achievement look pedestrian. In doing that, perhaps I would have paid my respects to him. But how? By winning the Nobel Prize. But then I realize it is impossible in this birth therefore join the junta in respect to bow to this worthy son of Yasaka and wishing him many more happy returns of the day, however belated it may be!!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
OF FARADAY'S LAWS AND PINEAPPLE PASTRIES....
Sometimes, its hard to talk about those things that you've just done together,things you've laughed at together,things you've debated together....
I could not believe my ears when i heard about Ajoba's demise.He had gone- SO suddenly?Had he really,really GONE?I had an organic chemistry exam the next morning and I was in a sorry state of affairs.I felt a lurch in my stomach and a lump in my throat, the gravity of the situation yet to sink in.
Cut to the present.
I now remember all those times Ajoba discussed Faraday's laws of electrolysis and Differential equations with me.His ability to not let go of a sum even if he didn't get it many times over amazed me.Also, he had a phenomenal memory-he would just state all the laws and rules of physics as he had learnt them by heart,ages ago.
Those,were his academic strengths.
As a person,Ajoba was a gem.I say that time and again because seldom have i found people who give so much space to their close ones,that ability to provide the freedom of "do-what-you-like-whatever" was unique.I was initiated to hard drinks, courtesy Ajoba, much to the disgust of Amma.Sharing a glass of beer along with a packet of chips with him was sheer fun...those times I will never forget.
Rewind to March 2007.
On every single day I had a board exam,Ajoba would drop me and come to receive me, without fail.He would inevitably be the first grandparent/parent standing next to the huge iron gates, with an eternal welcoming grin on his face.We would then go home,walking,discussing the question paper backwards.On reaching home,I was usually treated to a 'surprise'-a box of Pineapple pastries,specially brought from the most famous bakery in the neighbourhood.Pastries to enliven my spirit after a 3 hourboard exam, he would say!
Those were priceless moments-arguing about who the best 19th century novelist was,discussing people in the family in a jocular vein....little did I realise that those happy moments would never come again.
Those moments have become memories now.
At this juncture,I'm reminded of that poem by Longfellow-
"Lives of great men all remind us,
We can make our lives sublime
And departing, leave behind us,
Footprints in the sands of time..."
Sometimes,just sometimes, its hard to talk about things you've done together,things you've laughed at together,things you've debated together...
I could not believe my ears when i heard about Ajoba's demise.He had gone- SO suddenly?Had he really,really GONE?I had an organic chemistry exam the next morning and I was in a sorry state of affairs.I felt a lurch in my stomach and a lump in my throat, the gravity of the situation yet to sink in.
Cut to the present.
I now remember all those times Ajoba discussed Faraday's laws of electrolysis and Differential equations with me.His ability to not let go of a sum even if he didn't get it many times over amazed me.Also, he had a phenomenal memory-he would just state all the laws and rules of physics as he had learnt them by heart,ages ago.
Those,were his academic strengths.
As a person,Ajoba was a gem.I say that time and again because seldom have i found people who give so much space to their close ones,that ability to provide the freedom of "do-what-you-like-whatever" was unique.I was initiated to hard drinks, courtesy Ajoba, much to the disgust of Amma.Sharing a glass of beer along with a packet of chips with him was sheer fun...those times I will never forget.
Rewind to March 2007.
On every single day I had a board exam,Ajoba would drop me and come to receive me, without fail.He would inevitably be the first grandparent/parent standing next to the huge iron gates, with an eternal welcoming grin on his face.We would then go home,walking,discussing the question paper backwards.On reaching home,I was usually treated to a 'surprise'-a box of Pineapple pastries,specially brought from the most famous bakery in the neighbourhood.Pastries to enliven my spirit after a 3 hourboard exam, he would say!
Those were priceless moments-arguing about who the best 19th century novelist was,discussing people in the family in a jocular vein....little did I realise that those happy moments would never come again.
Those moments have become memories now.
At this juncture,I'm reminded of that poem by Longfellow-
"Lives of great men all remind us,
We can make our lives sublime
And departing, leave behind us,
Footprints in the sands of time..."
Sometimes,just sometimes, its hard to talk about things you've done together,things you've laughed at together,things you've debated together...
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
The Initial moments after the END
Should I thank Sunder or Vasu Kaka for starting this blog on Bapa(Paddayana)? Whoever it is,this is an absolutely wonderful ode to an absolutely standout person.
7th April 2008 was the first day of the rest of my life. Staring down at an inert Bapa at the Ragas General Hospital, where he had walked in with me just about 5 minutes ealier, was really a bone-chilling moment. Was this actually my closest friend and confidante? How could he have left us so suddenly without so much as a by-your-leave? Hey, he was sprightly enough when he came in with me and that too on my scooter! It was all so numbing that I decided there was no alternative but to continue with the numbness. I had to take care of Amma,how oh how could I break this to Sunder who had done so much for Bapa, much more,in fact, than the rest of us put together.He wouldn't be able to bear this mode of (Bapa's)exit from the world.Breaking this news to Talla too was a strict no-no to me since I knew she would be inconsolable.I dreaded telling Vasu Kaka as well as Madhu kaka, but it had to be done.
I took a deep breath, rang up Sunder first and blurted the news to him without any coating. Next were the Kakas - fortunately both Vasu Kaka and Madhu Kaka were not at home. Had they picked up the phone, I might have collapsed. The whole event seemed so unreal with a peacefully-sleeping Bapa beside me.
I had decisions to take and calls to make. How and when to transport Bapa, what to tell Amma, nobody by my side, calls trickling in, people watching me strangely, the watchman beating his forehead in despair at this stark injustice of a man walking in upright and lying prone & lifeless just a few moments later,the doctor offering all possible help, my mobile running down to the last 10Rs balance - It was all happening, and I had to keep myself on even keel.It was almost as though I was watching myself from a distance. I touched Bapa, felt reassured at the still warm feel, and walked out to face the world.
7th April 2008 was the first day of the rest of my life. Staring down at an inert Bapa at the Ragas General Hospital, where he had walked in with me just about 5 minutes ealier, was really a bone-chilling moment. Was this actually my closest friend and confidante? How could he have left us so suddenly without so much as a by-your-leave? Hey, he was sprightly enough when he came in with me and that too on my scooter! It was all so numbing that I decided there was no alternative but to continue with the numbness. I had to take care of Amma,how oh how could I break this to Sunder who had done so much for Bapa, much more,in fact, than the rest of us put together.He wouldn't be able to bear this mode of (Bapa's)exit from the world.Breaking this news to Talla too was a strict no-no to me since I knew she would be inconsolable.I dreaded telling Vasu Kaka as well as Madhu kaka, but it had to be done.
I took a deep breath, rang up Sunder first and blurted the news to him without any coating. Next were the Kakas - fortunately both Vasu Kaka and Madhu Kaka were not at home. Had they picked up the phone, I might have collapsed. The whole event seemed so unreal with a peacefully-sleeping Bapa beside me.
I had decisions to take and calls to make. How and when to transport Bapa, what to tell Amma, nobody by my side, calls trickling in, people watching me strangely, the watchman beating his forehead in despair at this stark injustice of a man walking in upright and lying prone & lifeless just a few moments later,the doctor offering all possible help, my mobile running down to the last 10Rs balance - It was all happening, and I had to keep myself on even keel.It was almost as though I was watching myself from a distance. I touched Bapa, felt reassured at the still warm feel, and walked out to face the world.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
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