The Initial moments after the END

Should I thank Sunder or Vasu Kaka for starting this blog on Bapa(Paddayana)? Whoever it is,this is an absolutely wonderful ode to an absolutely standout person.

7th April 2008 was the first day of the rest of my life. Staring down at an inert Bapa at the Ragas General Hospital, where he had walked in with me just about 5 minutes ealier, was really a bone-chilling moment. Was this actually my closest friend and confidante? How could he have left us so suddenly without so much as a by-your-leave? Hey, he was sprightly enough when he came in with me and that too on my scooter! It was all so numbing that I decided there was no alternative but to continue with the numbness. I had to take care of Amma,how oh how could I break this to Sunder who had done so much for Bapa, much more,in fact, than the rest of us put together.He wouldn't be able to bear this mode of (Bapa's)exit from the world.Breaking this news to Talla too was a strict no-no to me since I knew she would be inconsolable.I dreaded telling Vasu Kaka as well as Madhu kaka, but it had to be done.

I took a deep breath, rang up Sunder first and blurted the news to him without any coating. Next were the Kakas - fortunately both Vasu Kaka and Madhu Kaka were not at home. Had they picked up the phone, I might have collapsed. The whole event seemed so unreal with a peacefully-sleeping Bapa beside me.
I had decisions to take and calls to make. How and when to transport Bapa, what to tell Amma, nobody by my side, calls trickling in, people watching me strangely, the watchman beating his forehead in despair at this stark injustice of a man walking in upright and lying prone & lifeless just a few moments later,the doctor offering all possible help, my mobile running down to the last 10Rs balance - It was all happening, and I had to keep myself on even keel.It was almost as though I was watching myself from a distance. I touched Bapa, felt reassured at the still warm feel, and walked out to face the world.